Driving Mister Clearwater
by Fiction101
Summary: A series of one shots and drabbles in which Seth Clearwater struggles with being one of the few people in the 'Twilight Saga' who does not have a drivers license.
1. Carlise and Esme

**Disclaimer:**** I, Fiction 101, do not own the stories Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn or the characters within them. I also DO NOT in any way condone underage drinking**.

**A/N:** You have to admit I'm on a roll (two one shots in one week is pretty impressive considering this is me and I was on what, a nearly three year hiatus).

I couldn't help myself, I recently accompanied a friend after getting one of _those_ calls and I automatically imagined our dear Seth in a similar situation.

By the way, the title of this fic is a play on the movie _Driving Miss Daisy_, which is totally awesome and highly recommended by yours truly.

**Summary:** A series of one shots and drabbles in which Seth Clearwater struggles with being one of the few people in the 'Twilight Saga' who does not have a drivers license.

* * *

Hi, I'm Seth Clearwater, sixteen year-old shape-shifter, and no, I do not have my driver's license.

**DRIVING MISTER CLEARWATER**

**Carlisle and Esme**

"Thanks for doing this, guys. I really appreciate it." I said as soon as I slid into the backseat of the sleek black Mercedes, closing the door behind me.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen were probably the last two people that I wanted to call at nearly two in the morning but this weekend my options were far and few between. Edward and Bella had taken Nessie on a family trip so they were out of town. Both Jacob and Leah had flat out shot me down. Emmett freaking laughed. Rosalie ignored my desperate texts. Quil and Embry were running patrol. Alice–and by association Jasper–were already on my 'no call' list. While my mom and Charlie weren't even a part of my consideration set. So who else could I call at nearly two in the morning aside from the head of the friendly neighborhood vampire family and his wife?

"Sorry about calling so late," I hastily added.

Esme reluctantly looked away from the window, where she was no doubt scrutinizing the shady house with booming music that I'd not too long ago exited. "It's not a problem, Seth." The engine of the car purred softly in the background as Carlisle shifted the car from 'park' to 'drive'.

"Oh, uh, this is my friend, Karen," I pointed at the girl that had one of her thin and heavily bangled arms looped around my neck in an attempt to keep herself from toppling over. "She's my date."

"Hello, Karen." Carlisle greeted politely, briefly shifting his gaze from the dark Forks, Washington road to the rearview mirror to examine the gangly brunette.

Karen lazily held up two manicured fingers in peace as a makeshift greeting before dropping her hand onto her bare thigh making a '_slap_' sound that seemed to echo throughout the car. The smell of alcohol was apparent- even to a non-supernatural being- as she breathed in and out noisily through her mouth.

Esme sent me a disproving glance over her shoulder that said "I'm very disappointed in you" as I fiddled with buttons until the tinted glass of the automatic widow rolled down allowing the cool, early morning breeze into the vehicle.

The fresh air wasn't helping; the girl still reeked of booze. "Make a left at the next light," I instructed angling my head out the window.

"I don't feel too good, Papa Bear." Karen groaned, before lurching forward, toward Esme in the front seat. A wise man–I think it was Jacob–once said:_ Beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer you're in the clear._ Obviously Karen had never heard the rhyme because if she had she wouldn't have puked all over Esme.

No one spoke until Karen was safely in her—less-than-happy-to-be-woken-up -at -two-in-the-morning-by-a-tall-Native- American-dude-carrying-their-puke-covered-daughter-parent's custody.

"Seth," Esme, who should be the figurehead for motherly-ness and calm, struggled to maintain her composure "Get your license."

Wordlessly, my gaze landed on the undead doctor for support.

"Get your license, Seth," he agreed.

_Not cool Carlisle, not cool_ I mentally chided as I crossed my surrogate vampire mother and father figures off the list of people that I could call for a ride.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm not sure if I should turn this into a series of one shots (in which several characters have the experience of chauffeuring Seth around until he gets his license) or, if I should gracefully bow out here. Let me know what you think


	2. Jacob

**Disclaimer:**** I, Fiction 101, do not own the stories Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn or the characters within them.**

**Summary:** A series of one shots and drabbles in which Seth Clearwater struggles with being one of the few people in the 'Twilight Saga' who does not have a drivers license.

* * *

Hi, I'm Seth Clearwater, sixteen year-old shape-shifter, and no, I do not have my driver's license.

**DRIVING MISTER CLEARWATER**

**Jacob**

"You have got to be kidding me, Clearwater," Jacob groaned, hastily walking out of the school auditorium towards the parking lot. "What about me in your mind screams 'desperate house wife'? I mean seriously, do I look like a soccer mom to you?"

"Come on Jake, its tradition. He who leads his team to victory takes them out for pizza." I informed, matching him stride for stride.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, "I didn't lead your rag-tag band of misfits anywhere."

"But I did" I announced proudly, "and you're my ride."

"Not by choice." He was quick to remind me.

"So you keep saying," I grumbled. Unfortunately, my mom was called in to work a double shift at the hospital and with no mode of transportation of her own Leah was in the clear. Being one of the few members of either pack with a car at his disposal, Jake was my only other option.

"'Sides," Jacob went on to say once we were beside the Rabbit, "I'm pretty sure that that celebratory pizza thing only applies to _real_ teams."

"We're a real team."

"You're mathletes, Kid," He deadpanned, pushing a hand into the pocket of his jeans and coming up empty handed. "That hardly qualifies as a team."

"According to the La Push School Board and _Urban Dictionary_, yeah, it does." I argued.

"Whatever," Jacob mumbled, moving his search of one pocket to the next. "I'm still not taking you."

"I didn't think you would… at least not willingly. Which is why," I quickly produced his car keys seemingly from thin air, "I took these."

"Where did you—how did you?" He sputtered, moving to take the keys from my open palm which I swiftly closed. "Give me my keys, Kid." Jake swiped at me but I stealthily dodged his attack.

"Not, " swipe, "Until," awesome dodge, "You" lame attempt to grab me, "Agree," evasive maneuver, "To  
take us," swat , "For pizza," bob n' dart.

By the end of our scuffle I had his keys dangling by the keychain—a photo of him and Nessie—over the outstretched elastic waistband of my shorts. "Do you really want to venture where no man has ever gone before?" I asked with the slightest raise of an eyebrow.

"Give. Me. My. Keys. Seth," Jacob punctuated.

"Take. Us. For. Pizza. Jake." I inched his keys closer to what was awaiting inside my shorts.

We locked eyes, before he sighed. "One day, I will kill you."

"Sure, sure." I said dismissively, using his catchphrase in a fashion that, under different circumstances, would have made him proud.

"You have one more hour of my time. I mean it Seth, sixty fuckin' minutes and not a second more."

"Sure, sure." I repeated, already having tossed his keys over my shoulder. I eagerly motioned for the other members of my team to join us by the Rabbit.

He caught the keys with ease unlocking the door a little too forcefully. "Hurry up and get in," he barked, "Oh and Seth—"

"You don't have to say it." I interrupted, already aware of where the conversation was headed, "I'm crossing you off."

* * *

**A/N:** So that was Jacob's turn.

Gah, I love Seth! I picture him growing up to be this awesome kid who is smart with a bit of a nerdy streak. I couldn't work in his love of magic tricks but just so you know that is how he was able to get Jake's keys. Yup, our Seth is sleight of hand.

Let me know if there's a specific character that you'd like to see drive Seth next.


	3. Charlie

**Disclaimer:**** I, Fiction 101, do not own the stories Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn or the characters within them.**

**Summary:** A series of one shots and drabbles in which Seth Clearwater struggles with being one of the few people in the 'Twilight Saga' who does not have a drivers license.

* * *

Hi, I'm Seth Clearwater, sixteen year-old shape-shifter, and no, I do not have my driver's license.

**DRIVING MISTER CLEARWATER**

**Charlie**

You know, that awkward moment when you catch your mother's boyfriend trying to sneak out of the house that she shares with her two kids like he's the star of some romantic comedy when you know what he just did to your mom is anything but comedic. Yeah, that moment… it's pretty damn awkward.

I heard the floorboards creek and the hushed whispers long before Charlie Swan attempted to tiptoe past my open bedroom door. "Oh! Hey… Good morning, Seth."

"…Morning," I greeted around a mouth full of Cheerios.

"I didn't know you were up." His neck was flushed and his voice was anxious.

"Yeah…" My eyes landed on the green luminous numbers of my bedside clock radio, "I've got school."

Charlie followed my gaze, taking in the time for what seemed to be the first time that morning with wide eyes, "Oh. Well, I was just… heading out."

"Okay…"

"I could… give you a lift?" He offered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

I shoveled another couple of bites of cereal into my mouth before answering, "…'kay."

* * *

"So… summer school, huh?" Charlie asked once we were inside the cruiser.

"Yup."

"That must be a drag."

"Nope. I'm fast tracking."

"Oh." He chanced a glance away from the road to look in my direction, "Well, I'm not surprised, Sue's always going on about how smart you kids are."

"Okay." I kept my gaze fixed on the scenery that we passed by as he drove. _Twenty more minutes._

"Listen Seth," Charlie sighed after we lapsed into nearly five full minutes of silence. "I know you're not a little kid anymore so I'm sure you know why I was leaving your house this morning…"

I shut my eyes, resting my head against the tinted glass window. "Uh huh." _Fifteen more minutes._

"I want you to know that I respect both your mother and father. But, I, uh," He paused in thought, "have come to care for your mom—a lot… over these last few years."

I silently swallowed a groan. "Okay." _Twelve minutes. Just Twelve more minutes._

"My folks raised me to be a gentleman." He cleared his throat, "So I'm not the kind of guy that...that does _that_ with a woman without having the purest intentions."

_Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Ten minute mark be damned I needed to get the hell out of here._ "Charlie!" I said it as a strangled hiss, which resulted in him slamming on the breaks. I took this as my opportunity to wretch open the door and hastily scramble out of the car. "Thanks for the ride." I called before sprinting the remaining distance down the road to school, not bothering to look back once.

* * *

Jacob paused in the middle of inhaling one of Emily's freshly baked blueberry muffins, "So let me get this straight. You left Charlie Swan, awestruck on the side of some La Push road after you caught him—Charlie freaking Swan—Bella's dad doing the walk of shame down your hallway at eight in the morning."

"Shut up, Jacob," I grummbled into my hands.

Embry shrugged, "He got it on with his mom, I guess the least he could do was give the kid a ride to school."

I looked up at Embry long enough to flip him off before letting my face fall back into my hands.

"Hey Seth," Jake began, his demeanor now serious; "If you don't want to finish that talk you'd better cross Charlie off your list of potential chauffeurs."

* * *

**A/N:** This has got to be my favourite so far.

Sorry if Seth seems a little out of character but you've got to cut him some slack, he was the sole witness to Charlie's walk of shame… he's allowed to be a little cold.

Once again leave me a prompt if there's a specific character that you'd like to see next.


End file.
